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Breathe. It’s over. Inhale in his old t-shirt and smell its real stink. Don’t mistake his musk for fragrance this time. I promise you that was the real failure—seeing these fragments as flaws you could flip. 

Instead, flip a piece of furniture you got for free off Craigslist. Free a friend who keeps getting stuck inside. Stick some incense in a holder and let it smoke up the weird, smelly cupboard under your sink. Sink a few balls in a hoop or a pocket. Smoke something exotic. Brainstorm a new way to make some profit. 

Research distant flowers and buy some at the public market. Make a bouquet for your coworker’s next Tuesday. Go to improv. Let yourself laugh. Wipe off your mask. Paint in the bath. Bathe in a stream. Stream a new show. Show up to a party, alone. 

After, play with a couple who needs reinvigorating. Tell them they’re pretty and let them fuck you intensely. Listen to metal to try and like it. Lose yourself in a thrift shop searching for lockets. Start a weird new collection like lost teddies on the street or chairs you’d like to meet if they came back as a person. Say something to someone you thought you could never forgive. Fly somewhere you absolutely need to relive. 

Meet yourself in the mirror after a long night of drinking and sketch your face over it in lipstick. In the morning, dress up for a phone call with your grandmother to ask her the questions about her life that make you feel awkward. And then feel awkward. Nap. 

Come back to your favorite diner wearing that dress. Come with a proper vibrator. Come on your tummy. Come on your side. Let him cum inside. And picture the day when his musk is just a musk and his name is just a name. And when you’re finally ready, pull up your socks and... please get back in the game.